Quincy

This week delivered another blow to my gut. Quincy was my last part of my old life. My little buddy that has laid beside me during many tears, insisted on keeping me warm when I was cold and alone and demanded that I get up in the morning to face the day. Since Daegan has been gone, he even insisted on walks. He always listened and was the easiest relationship I had.

Tuesday evening, I returned home to see that he wasn’t well. He had been off his food the past couple of weeks and I assumed it was all the changes the two of us were coping with. By 9pm, I knew this was more than a “give it time” event and we were off to the animal emergency unit.

Within an hour of arriving, the seriousness of what turned out to be massive kidney/bladder stones had me alone making the decision to euthanize him. He was in a lot of pain and surgery wasn’t a guaranteed let alone financial option for me.

I held him and he trusted me to do what was right.

I miss him. I have been finding his treasures in the car, in the chair, under the couch. I think I have packed up the last of it this evening.

I know with my previous blogs I stated I am given what I need but I can’t imagine how I needed this. How he needed this.

Yesterday, I signed the lease for the home that I found for us. It is perfect in location so that I could have been home for lunch and within 10 minutes of the office even with traffic. It has a yard.

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I thought all week whether the house was still right for me and then decided this is my time to be “reborn” start over and just be. The landlord has said if I want another dog that she will allow it. I am not ready.

Thank You!

I can not believe the outpouring of love that I have felt this last week. Thank you to those who spoke to me, Facebook me and left comments here and I also know in my heart there are those of you that quietly keep me in your thoughts.

I started this new journey mid March with a heart wrenching ache. My next step was to constantly reiterate my mantra “fall down 7 times, stand up 8″. I would wake up every day to dread and disbelief thinking maybe I would eventually find myself in a hospital be after a bad accident and coma, waking up to see it never happened.

Not so.

I have however been given gifts during this journey that were never expected. Friends have been everything. In spite of what I have wanted, I have been given everything I needed. A shoulder to cry on. A kick in the A$$. A glass of wine. A home for Daegan. A temperary home for me. A job.

Although I continue to meditate with “Fall down 7 times, stand up 8″ I have also added “I have been given every thing I NEED.” The universe is being good to me and I am reminding myself that it is a gift.

Making up for lost time

I have been gone, yes GONE from the YYS blog and from myself for that matter. The fact is, YYS has not been my focus for the past few months but rather my healing from what once again is a death in my life. This time the death was my marriage.

They say life doesn’t send you what you can’t handle. I’m not sure that I am a believer of that. I pretty much was at the end of my ability. No matter how many times we say we will stand up, be better, come out the other end or what ever the crazy people out there share with you in your moment of hardship, I have come to believe you need to weep, suffer, hurt and wonder before you can pick yourself up, dust off the slime and say but not really believe you’ll be OK.

So here I am a soon to be 50 year old woman (next Thursday) trying to figure out who I am. After 20 years, Hubby is no longer Hubby. I have lost who I was, my home, my extended family, some of my friends (not all thank God), potentially my dogs (I have had to already find a home for Daegan as finding a place to stay with a large let alone 2 dogs was a nightmare), and I have had to figure out how I am going to support myself. Unfortunately as much as I love Yummy Yarn Studio, it is a gift with a few extra dollars not a life kept.

I am not looking for pity. I will not be bitter. I will wallow (less every day). I will cry (less every day). I am afraid, alone and confused.

So far I have learned:
there are no answers
tomorrow happens whether you are ready for it or not
friends are everything
the universe is giving me what I need and I shouldn’t confuse that with what I want
the box of kleenex is never where I need it
did I mention friends are EVERYTHING!

I have struggled with writing again. My Chicks with Stix knitting group said keep it about Wilson, keep it about the yarn, you don’t need to explain….

But this is where I have shared the happy, the sad and the everyday workings of this yarn wench. I think K said it best when she said just write. The words will be there and now that the “family” is in the circle of know, I feel I can write.

Today was a blue day. Tomorrow may be red but it could also be pink or green. I don’t know yet. What I do know is that it will be tomorrow.

Daegan, His last day with me, looking as regal as ever.

Catch-up Time

It is winter again. I don’t really know why I expect any different? Every year I tell Hubby “Watch, March 1 will be amazing and March 2 will be a snow storm.” Every year he replies “Where do you come up with these silly thoughts?”

He’s wrong, again unfortunately, I am right. In like a lamb and out for the rest of the month like a lion. Spring was definitely in the air for at least the past month and although I should not have gotten my hopes up, I did…

So here we are, the 4th of March under a blanket of roughly a foot of snow. It could e worse. I woke up this morning to the sound of gears being ground by a very large truck, Turns out my neighbour is moving out. Yup, could be worse.

On a good note, it’s catch up time. I spent Saturday afternoon with the camera catching up and photographing a bunch of projects that have been done for a while.

remember the yarn I spun? Well the shawl Halyard by Tetiana Otruta is finished.  The edging in the original pattern wasn’t catching my fancy so I improvised with a simpler edging.  When I soaked the shawl for blocking, the yellow ran from the original roving and tinted the white yarn a beautiful tea dye.  Bleeding could not have been more perfect for this project.  The yellowed yarn compliments the handspun perfectly.

I am not a great spinner.  I am at best novice but love the rhythm of the wheel and the Zen state that I enter while I convert roving into what may be called “passable yarn.”  Once knit, it was perfect yarn.  The pattern was perfect (thank you Katrien for the suggestion).  I think you’ll agree?

 

 

 

 

Guest Speaking Invitation

This past fall (I think that it was September) I was invited to be the guest speaker for the Heritage Weavers and Spinners Guild of Calgary.  The subject that was suggested was creating a Fibre Art Business.  “Ok,” I thought, “I can do this”. After all isn’t this what I do?

So, last evening I gathered up some samples of my designs, patterns and yarns along with my 3 ladies of amazing support and love (fellow business associates and partner J, J and L) and off we went.  The group wasn’t what I expected but then, I’m not sure what I expected.  About 25 ladies crowded in to politely listen to me ramble on for an hour.  The hit of the show however was the show and tell.  Not the presentation.  No one in the audience had any intent on starting a fibre art business. Yikes!  BUT, 25 new people know me, my company and my business partner and associates exist.

Perhaps more importantly and what I am choosing to focus on today is the 3 women that came with me.  They sacrificed group knit night (Chicks with Stix had their evening meeting last night) to join and support ME.  As J 1 put it, “you know we love you?” But actually no, I don’t always “know” that.  This isn’t because they tell me any different but instead, it is ALL me that doesn’t believe it.  How can I possibly be worthy?

Today, I am going to trust that I was and am worthy of them being there for me.  The trip to the Starbucks which became the pub because SB wasn’t open when we arrived was 4 women, knitting supporting, laughing and enjoying each other.  The presentation???? It was OK.  I didn’t embarrass myself more than once or twice and I stayed on time and subject which is a challenge for this girl.  But above and beyond all else, I was loved and that was a good thing.

 

Wilson’s Monkey Business

Wilson’s Mitts (found here on Ravelry)  have been a great success for the Devonshire Knots division of YYS.  Having them listed in Vogue Knitting just before Christmas was a great help to launching these Sheepy Butt (as described by Lee Ann Dalton – Canadian Vogue Knitting writer) squishy delights.  Although many have purchased and /or faved the pattern, few have posted until this morning when I found ShelbyWoo’s (Rav name)interpretation.

These were knit up in Yummy Yarn Studio’s Merino-Cashmere-Nylon “Monkey Business” of which there is one skein left in the Etsy shop.  Just sayin’

So my point in all this is to say;

YAY ShelbyWoo for posting and sharing and for the great photos!

We would love to see your YYS and Devonshire Knots projects posted on Ravelry please as this helps us promote the patterns and we get excited about publishing more great patterns for you!

Happy Tuesday Knitting!

 

 

Looking for the Right Pattern

As mentioned recently, I have become reaquainted with my spinning wheels. Over the last year, my time has been so caught up with my knitting that I forgot how cathartic the wheel can be. I ordered some roving from an american dyer Widdershine Woolworks. I was attracted by the name, but now I am in love with her Polworth/silk blends. When the roving arrived (with a partner and a sister because who can have just one of anything yummy) I saw right away that it had 4 repeats. my immediate reaction was to split the 4, doubly ply the halves and voila a pair of hand dyed, hand spun, nearly identical socks. 

I am a novice spinner and undoubtedly, any of you who have looked closely can see that I tend toward art yarn and a very loose twist at that.  I am not looking to fix this.  I love the soft yarn that results and in this case the silk is adding plenty of strength to the yarn for what ever I decide to knit.  On the other hand, spinning is meditative, and my mind wanders at will while my hands magically produce this beautiful thing.  So of course, my sock thoughts wonder.

Problem 1:  I weigh the skein I have vs the skein to be 60g vs 40g.  Problem you ask confused?  Yes, there is a problem, of course I could do a toe up sock to use the 40g to the best of my ability BUT that leaves 60g that will not make the same sock in the same colour dispensation which was the point of splitting the thing in the first place.  DANG!  Now I wonder again “solutions”  there as to be another way….

Spinning friends say….” change the project”  make a hat and some fingerless.  you can further split the 40g not yet spun so 20g each for some shorty cuffs.  “BUT” my mind screams, “I wanted socks!”

Lesson learned – remember there is a sister skein still in the basket.

So what to do with this double skein?  I don’t look good in hats.  I won’t wear it so don’t even go there.  100g… too much for mitts which between you and me, I am done with for the time being.  Have you seen how many pairs I’ve knit this year?  Shawlette…. okay I can wrap my head around that.  Now here is the BUT; I can’t decide which one.  I have been on ravelry for days stalking all of you and your projects.  Garter sts is the only attractive use of a wild and crazy yarn for a shawlette in my opinion.  I’ve faved Wingspan.  Noted Lintilla and fallen in love with the Eiki Shawl.  None of which I have anywhere near enough yarn.  I think Lintilla is the fore front for the time being but I could easily be persuaded otherwise.  I do have the second roving that I could add to the amount I have now which you know will be too much and then not enough for something else. Sigh.

HELP!?  I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole and can’t figure my way out.  Suggestions are gratefully accepted.